What if they become friends? asks terrified world

THE world is terrified at the prospect of two spoilt, freak-haired idiots becoming best friends. 

Experts stressed that a meeting between the world’s two most self-centred, childish leaders, neither of whom cares about peace but who like being important, is in danger of being a deeply disturbing success.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “Trump will brag about his army. Kim will brag about his army. Trump will show off about his gold toilets. Kim will show off about his.

“When both leaders step away from the negotiating table to show off their kung fu moves, each claiming to know a secret death touch so powerful they would never use it, they will bond. At that point, an insanely dangerous relationship is inevitable. I’m thinking Darth Vader and Grand Moff Tarkin from Star Wars.”

Professor Brubaker added: “From then on the world will live in fear of their moronic solutions for major international problems. China will be told they could do worse than Kim as leader. The USA will be advised that democracy is so 20th century.

“Eventually, behind closed doors, they will compare penises and conclude that each of them is endowed beyond all ordinary men.”