WARY of Putin’s motives after his latest speech? An average Twitter user who is not a Russian bot explains why the great leader is flawless:
He know his history
Not the fake history like Western capitalist running dogs learn, but real history where Ukraine was never country. Every Russian knows Ukraine is simply a word for ‘argumentative region in need of armed peacekeepers in T-72 tanks with air support’. In time you will learn Baltic states, Finland and Hungary not real countries either.
He big tough strong guy
Just look at him. Putin hit gym five time a week and bench 130kg. Does not skip leg day. But do not worry, he only tough to survive cruel Russian winter which is very cold. It is not part of cult of personality strong man image to intimidate other world leaders he would murder in fight. One blow your Boris dead.
He dress sensible look good
Nobody in smart Italian suit, tie can be bad guy. Not military uniform like North Korea Kim. Plus he have sensible haircut, not like Kim or United Kingdom’s warmonger Johnson who have scruffy appearance disrespecting dignified nations. If he shave off hair we maybe pull back 40,000 troops.
He protect independ
You like independ, right? You vote the Brexit? In glorious speech Putin protect independ Donetsk and Luhansk from cruel Ukraine which does not exist. This is actions of super nice friendly guy who does not want full scale war so relax. Stop saying it pretext for war because this make Mr Putin angry and he has temper. Shot my wife brother.
He ride bear
We know you seen picture where Putin ride bear through water shirtless. Real and not fake. Only a nice man would be this in touch with nature like your Doctor Dolittle. If Putin could talk to bear he only say kind things like ‘we will survive Western sanctions thanks to our close economic partnership with China’. This make bear happy.
He like you
Putin Western like you and me, only not so weak. He enjoy Fleabag and Wordle and the pulled sandwich of the pork. Good. Let us drink vodka and toast Imperial Russia together. You and I comrades now.