International

JOE Biden is too infirm to be president, so gay liberal Hollywood has no option but to step in. Who should replace him for the showdown against Trump?

LONG-RUNNING Neighbours character Julian Assange, best remembered for a storyline where he revealed Erinsborough’s secrets, is returning to the soap.

FAR-RIGHT? Doing well with the patriots? They must never find out about your crush on the Prince Adam of the East, President Putin? Throw them off the scent.

FAR-RIGHT lunatics are seizing power across Europe, but which of these boggle-eyed xenophobes is fit to fill Adolf Hitler’s jackboots?

HAVING just returned from France, which is shit, Grace Wood-Morris can state definitively that it does not count as a proper holiday abroad.

THE entire planet has sacked today off to have a laugh at Donald Trump’s expense, it has emerged.