DO you ever feel like the universe hates you? Why else would it do these things to you when you’re already having a shit day?
1. Stubbing your toe. Not too bad but as it always happens when you’re having a very bad day it feels like the last straw and you want a good sob.
2. Getting your sleeve caught on a door handle. This is particularly annoying when storming out during an argument, especially if it rips your sodding sleeve.
3. Spilling an entire pint of milk. Just the kind of thing that happens first thing in the morning to create extra hassle when you’re running late and are pissed off because it’s stupid work again.
4. Maybe you should look at cute photos of puppies to cheer you up, but oh no you can’t, because the universe has just made sure your phone has run out of battery.
5. You are finally at work but things don’t get any better because you forgot to save the document you have been working on all morning and you have lost the whole thing.
6. Thank god, lunchtime! You nip out to grab a well-earned bacon roll to cheer you up, only to discover you’ve forgotten your wallet. It’s not really worth going out twice, so it’s a soggy cheese mush sandwich from the company shop.
7. When you pop to the shop on your way home your carrier bag breaks. Somehow you don’t want to eat your ready meal now it’s been on the ground. Irrational, but it’s in your brain now.
8. You just want to get home now but the universe isn’t going to make this easy. Every single traffic light you come to turns to red.
9. You get home after the worst day ever to discover you’ve locked yourself out and forgotten your keys. Now is a good time to scream. Instead you wait for your partner to get back. Don’t feel you have to rush or anything. FFS.
10. It is not a myth that tea bags wait until you really, desperately need a cuppa before they run out.
11. Sod it. You are exhausted so you go to be early and hope tomorrow will be better but what’s this? You stripped the bed this morning and forgot to put the covers on.
12. Finally, you lie down and close your eyes but the universe isn’t done with you yet. The next door neighbours have decided that now is a good time to do some DIY. They are drilling. At 9pm. Time to have that cry.