by parfumier and commerçant Pierre Mondrian-St Froduphe
YOU cannot sell a fragrance by saying it smells good. You sell a brand, a concept, a feeling, which means pretentious bollocks and famous people. Let me explain:
Opening scene: man running alongside horses on beach. Challenges viewer to imagine themselves so free and wild, like a wild horse.
Second scene: Tom Hardy dressed in leather playing guitar in desert while Rita Ora laughs in meadow with flowers and bold vaguely gender-neutral model doing brave gender-neutral thing. Iconic fragrance narrative told through visual medium. At this point viewer realises is perfume advert, not car or mobile network. Jaw drops open.
Third scene: Plunges viewer into the world of the fragrance, immersing them in cues about its scent. Includes: opera singing, drone shot of Tour Eiffel, glass orchids shattering on granite, wrecked car in Icelandic volcano stream, all-leather Labradoodle, man naked on pier collapsing into sea. Viewer understands completely.
Fourth scene: close-up of Hardy or Ora saying fragrance slogan ‘tastes like forever’ or ‘yearn to excel’ in Franch accent. Spanish accent also acceptable, German accent hated by all audiences including Germans.
Fifth scene: bottle shot. Bottle must represent the fragrance ie shaped like giant lips or guitar neck or rampaging centaur, so viewers are in no doubt as to what transformation wearing this would bring to their lives. Exit to shops.