SO-CALLED builder’s tea is the refreshment of choice among people who are irritating, it has emerged.
Research by the Institute for Studies found that 83 per cent of annoying individuals enjoyed ‘builder’s tea’, which is indistinguishable from tea.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: “It’s normal tea with an ironic veneer for Guardian readers who want to sound like they’re ‘close to the masses’.
“Requesting ‘builder’s tea’ also highlights a nauseating level of self-awareness, letting other nearby ponces know that you are clever and don’t normally stoop to unhealthy things like milk and sugar.
“We interviewed a number of builders and not one of them was aware that such a thing as builder’s tea existed. Again, they just call it tea. Because that’s what it f**king is. Tea.”
Architect Tom Logan said: “There’s nothing like a piping hot cup of builder’s tea. I often go to my local worker’s cafe, Imbibendis on Islington High Street, for some cockney-style banter with my ‘muckers’ who work in law and brand awareness.
“Funnily enough, last week there were some tradesmen in and when I asked those salt-of-the-earth ruffians how they took their builder’s tea they looked confused and tried to ignore me.
“I fear the lower orders may be a bit ‘thick’.”
