Sunday, 27th September 2020

Chill the f**k out about dinosaurs, kids told

CHILDREN have been asked to please, God, chill the f**k out about dinosaurs.

Adults across the globe have begged three-to-nine-year-olds to give it a bloody rest about the long-extinct reptiles.

Father-of-two Tom Baxter said: “We get it, they’re cool. They were big, very different to anything around today, and most of them would have eaten us.

“And yes, we do accept our share responsibility for buying you the toys, dressing you in the clothes and, hands up, letting you watch Jurassic Park when you were too young.

“But, that said, any chance of giving us a f**king break? The daily discussions about the merits of the spineosaurus versus the triceratops, and endless games of ‘Guess which dinosaur I am?’ have to stop.

“You are always a T-rex and we are close to a breakdown.”

The practice of ‘playing dinosaurs’ was also roundly condemned for its lack of structure and inevitable conclusion where parents are brought down by velociraptors acting as a pack, represented by children hitting them.

Five-year-old Jordan Gardner said: “Dinosaurs are the closest thing there is to alien space monsters. I will never shut up about them, ever.”