Monday, 6th July 2020

Cockblocking friend just the extra hurdle man chatting up woman needed

A MAN who was ‘cockblocked’ whilst chatting up a woman in a nightclub has revealed it was just what he did not need at that moment.

Tom Logan was already finding it traumatic talking to a woman in Pryzm nightclub in Cheltenham when ‘friend’ Martin Bishop turned up and claimed he had an unusually shaped penis.

Office worker Logan said: “Chatting to a stranger when you’re sweaty, nervous and can’t hear properly is stressful enough. What you really don’t need is someone saying your genitals look like the neck and head of a swan. 

“It completely put me off my stride. I was mentally trying to juggle a witty response and get Martin to p*ss off, while all the time thinking about my deformed private parts. They’re not, by the way.

“In the end I just blurted out ‘I’ve got a normal penis!’. The woman went soon after that.

“Still, at least I was able to get on with what I do best in nightclubs, which is going home alone and eating a kebab.”

Bishop said: “It was classic. It reminded me of the time Pete was chatting up this woman he’d really liked for ages and I kept running over and telling her he’d got AIDS. I’m such a laugh.”