Colleague with no children who took three holidays last year thinks he’s close to burnout

A SINGLE man with no responsibilities and lots of disposable income believes he is more stressed than everyone else in his office.

Tom Logan, a 32-year-old with a hectic gym and city break schedule, fears he is heading towards burnout due to the demands of balancing a completely relaxed home life with an averagely busy job.

He said: “I feel like the past two meetings have really taken it out of me.

“I’m supposed to be booking flights for my mate’s stag tonight but someone’s just invited me to their leaving drinks and it’s a free bar so I can’t not go.

“This weekend I’ve got benders booked in with mates both nights so I won’t be able to get an early night. I’m running on empty here.”

Colleague Roy Hobbs added: “Poor bastard. Let’s hope his 10 days of ‘me-time’ in Thailand next month can sort him out.

“We’ll all be so happy to put in the extra effort while he’s away.”


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Rees-Mogg 'alarmed and aroused' by EU 'punishment'

JACOB Rees-Mogg has admitted to being alarmed and quite turned on by the thought of EU punishment.

The Tory MP said: “The threat was made in a leaked document. Even the word ‘leaked’ was enough to get my motor running.

“Then they started talking about the power to restrict access to the single market and punishment during the transition period. I’ll be honest, all I heard was ‘power’ and ‘punishment’ and I had to go to the lavatory to be alone with my sinful thoughts.

“The EU is clearly trying to dominate us, which is obviously unacceptable, but also deeply arousing.

“To be honest, I think that’s why I haven’t made any great efforts to topple May. All that talk of taking back control and crushing saboteurs…

“You’ll have to excuse me for a minute, I’ve been such a bad saboteur.”