A COUPLE have admitted they regret buying their hot tub and regret shagging in full view of their neighbours in their hot tub.
Tom and Isla Booker bought the hot tub during lockdown and immediately began to use it as a venue for sex despite its strong lighting and prominent garden position.
Tom said: “Yeah. We’re calling it Lockdown Derangement Syndrome. Both the purchase and the subsequent months of free-to-view f**king.
“I don’t blame the neighbours. They were trapped in their homes and bored and clapping the NHS only took five minutes a week. Apparently round our way we were more popular than Tiger King.
“I’d claim that we just planned to relax in it but truth is I was hard watching it being installed. It might as well have been a butterfly sex swing hanging from a bough of the apple tree.
“Now we never use it and we’re still paying it off, and we never have sex because we’re haunted by the neighbours saying ‘Not in the hot tub anymore? Pump gone erratic?'”
He added: “Mind you at least we got some use out of it. Not like that pissing breadmaker.”