YOUR 2019 self didn’t have a clue about the shitstorm that was heading their way. Here are five now commonplace activities they also couldn’t have foreseen.
Judging people who don’t make space
They’re doubly annoying because you’re taking up as little room on the pavement as possible. You from last year would never have guessed that a simple stroll to the shops would leave you hating your fellow man.
Realising you forgot your face mask
Usually as you’re about to step into the corner shop to buy milk, forcing you to choose between going all the way home or pretending you’ve got an invisible health condition. You can always opt for the latter, although why you think affecting a limp will make it any more convincing is anyone’s guess.
Ignoring arrows in supermarkets
The idea of being directed by arrows in supermarkets would have sounded ridiculous in 2019, and for a lot of people in 2020 it apparently still does. Luckily it’s dumb and selfish when other people ignore them, but when you do it to grab a bag of Revels it’s totally justified.
Wondering if Donald Trump has f**ked off yet
We all hoped Trump would be out on his arse shortly after he was sworn in. But we forgot he’d be able to hang on in there for months after losing the election. Still, it will be worth it when he’s finally dragged out of the Oval Office by his hair and thrown in jail.
Knowing who Chris Whitty is
The physician and epidemiologist is very much the breakout star of 2020. Before this year you would’ve taken one look at him and assumed he was a beleaguered, possibly hungover, substitute teacher. Now he’s famous enough to take over from Graham Norton, or at least go on I’m A Celebrity.