Saturday, 24th October 2020

Gender party reveals foetus as 'boy' and parents as 'twats'

A GENDER reveal party has confirmed the sex of a baby and the utter twattishness of his parents.

The ostentatious event involved 12 blue-painted doves being released from a giant cake to inform guests that the foetus was male, and that the mother and father were f**king insufferable.

Guest Joshua Hudson said: “The parents decided to find a grotesquely extravagant way to reveal a colour, which told us what sex the baby was, and also that they’re the kind of lunatics who think these parties are something other than a huge, narcissistic waste of everyone’s time.

“Just send a text, for Christ’s sake. It’s not even very interesting information. I’d rather go to a party that revealed the plot of the next series of Succession.

“I bet my girlfriend it would be a boy, but I’m still annoyed we bothered coming. Ten quid can’t make up for this afternoon.

“And we couldn’t even eat the cake because the doves shat all over it.”