Tuesday, 26th January 2021

'Glamping' just as shit as camping

GLAMPING is just camping with a wood-burning stove and a string of fairy lights, new research has found. 

A wide-ranging study has discovered that ‘glamping’ is just as deeply dissatisfying a holiday experience as regular camping, while being significantly more expensive.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “The inclusion of a beanbag or some fairy lights did very little to take away from the fact that, at the end of the day, you still have to shit in a hole in a forest.

“Whether your accommodation is a tent you put up yourself or a traditional Mongolian yurt, it’s still just as unlikely to stand up to sustained wind and rain.

“It might have a wooden floor and a wood-burning stove. But when a stream starts flowing through your living accommodation, you’ll still end up sitting in the car.

“And many glampers even claimed to have had a worse time than ordinary campers, simply because glamping draws middle-class arseholes like moths to a flame.

“You can buy repellent for midges and mozzies. Sadly as yet there’s nothing on the market for men called Greg who work in finance, whose wives have their own jewellery business and whose children don’t eat sugar and need a bloody good hiding.”