Grown man still likes big trucks

A FULLY-GROWN man still loves big trucks and is having a difficult time hiding it.

Wayne Hayes failed to leave his passion for large machines behind when he turned seven and has spent the subsequent 28 years in a state of barely-concealed excitement whenever he sees one.

Hayes said: “It’s becoming harder and harder not to scream at the top of my voice when I see a massive Scania, or even a decent-sized bulldozer. My partner still thinks it’s cool to point out Eddie Stobarts. She wouldn’t understand.

“I know most people stop getting excited about big vehicles around the same time they are allowed to stay up past 7:30, but everyone has their own interests. Some people like racing pigeons.”

Despite a lack of understanding from society, experts believe there may be nothing wrong with a grown-up liking trucks, lorries and diggers.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “Big trucks can go fast, are massive and could easily crush a man. What’s not to like?”

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85 percent of homeworkers list 'get dressed' as number one annual goal

GETTING dressed is the number one challenge for people working from home, with ‘getting out of bed’ in second place.

According to The Institute for Studies, the number of people who spend the working day festering  in their pyjamas has doubled in the past 10 years.

Home-worker Roy Hobbs, said: “There’s so much to do in the morning, what with getting out of bed and eating and everything. Especially if you get up as late as I do, something’s gotta give.

“Also if I spend the whole day in my pyjamas, I save myself a job at bedtime.”

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “This study confirms that people working from home are lazy arseholes, worthy only of contempt from us mugs who are fully dressed by 7am. Most of them don’t even have a washing machine.”

Hobbs admits: “Sometimes, I get caught out by a video conference, in which case I just dress my top half. Working from home has forced me to think outside the box. And also to eat cornflakes three times a day.

“I haven’t showered since 2017 but there are no pathetic colleagues around to complain about that.”