Saturday, 15th August 2020

How working-class are your Christmas decorations?

THERE’S a fine line between decorating your home tastefully for the festive season and outing yourself as a tasteless pleb. Our guide tells you what is acceptable.

Inflatable snowman

Invariably looming and hideous like something from a nightmare and kept inflated with a noisy motor that disturbs the peace of the whole crescent.

Working-class rating: Common

Light-up presents and candy canes

A tough one to call. Good quality ones can be quite tasteful and jolly, and the American influence suggests a certain cultural sophistication. Also illuminates your year-round herb garden.

Working-class rating: Indeterminate

Outdoor figures of Simpsons in Santa hats

Nothing shouts ‘white van man’ like a glowing Homer Simpson with only the most cursory Christmas connection.

Working-class rating: Staffie, tracksuit and fights outside pubs

Large plastic Christmas tree

Not having a real tree is shamefully nouveau, but the really big plastic ones are expensive and you may simply have better things to do than endlessly pick up pine needles.

Working-class rating: Fine for barristers, doctors and Stacey Solomon alike

Minimalist fairy lights

Whether neatly affixed to your porch or draped on a shrub, these lights are boring but do not really have any class connotations. Unless set on ‘twinkle’, which is tacky.

Working-class rating: Acceptable for white-collar professionals as long as everyone else on the new-build estate also has them

Life-size Santa, sleigh and reindeer on your roof

This OTT exercise in showing off strongly suggests you are either a lottery winner or a builder coining it in by fiddling your tax.

Working-class rating: You are the King of the Chavs, and this is your crown