WERE you an angel on high, a king in finery, a mute shepherd or livestock? Here’s how your nativity role predicted your future:
Mary or Joseph
You were always popular, and now you’re a cheerful, reliable type who can be relied on. Not outstanding but people notice if you’re not there. You’re probably now an accountant or pharmacist, drive a Volvo and are mortgage-free.
Shepherd
You stood at the back with a grubby tea towel on your head and didn’t get any lines. Today you’re just as much a pointless makeweight. You do data management and your colleagues try to avoid you in the kitchen because after five years they’re still not sure of your name.
Innkeeper
Your role was to look stern, vigorously shake your head and send poor, desperate Mary and Joseph packing. You now are virulently pro-Brexit, voted for UKIP eight times and stood as a candidate once, and drive a white van with a massive poppy on the front.
Donkey
As the little donkey, you didn’t have to do anything in the school nativity apart from look cute. You carried this over into the rest of your life and coasted on your good looks for years. Everything went swimmingly for you until you hit 40 and your face collapsed into like a cake in the rain. Nobody likes you now.
Angel
You think you’re effervescent and fascinating, lighting up every room you walk into with your fabulous personality. You’re actually a tiresome narcissist who everyone slags off behind your back. Playing an angel was the first step in your current career as a chronically underemployed actor.
Narrator
If there is a disaster or a crisis, people turn to you to save the day. You’ve got a mammoth ego but are forgiven for it because people feel safe in your capable, comforting presence. You are now a doctor or a lawyer with a big car, a second home and a secret lover.
