A GROUP of cousins at a Christmas family gathering feel under pressure to pretend they know the first thing about each other’s lives.
The Tomlinsons haven’t seen each other since Auntie Jane’s last Christmas drinks party, an excruciating event that mostly involves standing around hoping Uncle Richard doesn’t get started on immigrants.
Hannah Tomlinson explained: “It’s not that me and the cousins don’t get on, it’s just that aside from this yearly party and the odd family funeral, we have f**k all contact with each other.
“I was relieved to get out of it last year due to Covid, but all that’s done is made us even more estranged. However, so as not to upset Grandma, we’re all doing our best to pretend to remember what each other’s jobs are.
“I can’t even pad things out with normal conversation fillers such as lying about how cute their kids are because I’ve got all their names muddled up since last time.
“In desperation for a topic of conversation I suggested we create a cousins WhatsApp group, which I regret now. It’s going to be even more embarrassing when we meet up next Christmas and not one of us has been arsed to send a message.”