By Wayne Hayes
SOME have described it as a ‘pathetic and pointless contest’, while others have dismissed my fones as ‘very expensive earmuffs’.
Some have even called me a ‘pretentious twat’.
But I have now managed to cover almost half my skull with my headphones. Each ear piece is the size of a pudding bowl, while my dreary friends have achieved a diameter of not more than 7.5cm.
Jealous wretches say my headphones just look bigger because I’ve got a smaller head. They say it is cruel optical illusion and demand a re-measure.
Let them fondle their Beats by Dr Dre like the stone-colds losers they are.
As for me, I hope one day to have headphones the size of a pair of woks.