Saturday, 4th April 2020

Londoner faints after seeing what northern renters get for their money

A MAN from London fainted after discovering how much northerners pay in rent each month.

Zone 1 inhabitant Martin Bishop was left confused after his friend Tom Booker from Nottingham described his bedsit as ‘cosy, but probably cheap, right?’.

Bishop said: “I was flummoxed. All of my London mates were fascinated that I’d found a room with nearly enough space for a small double mattress for just under a grand a month.”

Booker then told Bishop that for the same price he could easily afford a three bedroom semi-detached house if he ventured north of Peterborough.

Booker added: “As I swiped through a Rightmove gallery I could see the colour start to drain from his face. Then when he saw the size of the garden he gave a brief, high pitched moan and his legs started to give way.

“I’ve seen this happen before with lots of mates who live in London so I took the necessary precautions to cushion his fall. But it’s physically impossible to lie flat in his shoebox so he did bump his head on a wall.”