Thursday, 29th October 2020

Man wearing vest trying to be cool about nude upper arms

A MAN wearing a vest is trying not to feel self-conscious about his upper-arm nudity.

Ryan Whittaker, aged 29, decided he could rock a sleeveless look in the ongoing heatwave but immediately found himself overcome with insecurity at the amount of flesh he had on display.

He said: “I’ve only made it as far as the Co-op but I feel like every pair of eyes is on me.

“Walking past the freezers feels so weird. When I catch my reflection I seem practically naked. It may be 34 degrees, but I’d do anything for a jacket right now.”

“And though I’ve stuck to a rigid lockdown exercise regime of two to three pull-ups per week, now I’m out in public that’s not sure that’s given me the ripped shoulders I’d thought.

“I’m less one of those Miami Beach muscle dudes than my dad at Camber Sands in the 70s. Or my Auntie Jean on a work night out.

“God, I’d kill for a T-shirt right now to cover my shame, but I can’t turn back now. I’m going to have to either brazen this out, or get a massive shoulder tattoo.”