Monday, 3rd August 2020

Men happy to avoid talking to barbers

MEN are continuing to enjoy not having to make small talk with their barbers on a monthly basis.

The UK’s males have agreed that scruffy barnets are a small price to pay compared to having an awkward conversation with a stranger while wearing a cape.

Martin Bishop said: “I only do things during the evening and at weekends so I have something to talk about at my next appointment. It’s a real relief not to have that pressure.

“Once I improvised and made up stuff about myself. Bad move. I was trapped in a web of lies for years and my hair was falling out in clumps because of the stress, which only led to more questions.

“The trick is to pace yourself. You don’t want to blow your load too early. Take some cue cards and save some meaty talking points for the halfway mark. Just make sure they don’t see them.

“When the salons open again I’ll stick to safe topics like football and beer, then whip out the perilous state of Hong Kong’s autonomy if the conversation dries up.”

Barber Tom Booker said: “I’ve learnt to tune out Martin’s droning and just say ‘Oh yeah?’ every 10 seconds. However I still ask him if he saw Spurs although he’s clearly not interested. It’s just a barber thing.”