New father awakes with ability to pack car boot perfectly

A NEW father has awoken with the ability to pack a car boot perfectly.

Stephen Malley, 37, attended the birth of his first child the previous day and later that night entered a deep sleep.

Malley explained “You know that bit in The Matrix where Keanu Reeves has Kung-fu downloaded in his brain? When I woke up I was like ‘I know car boots’.”

He added: “It’s a very strong feeling. Possibly the only stronger feeling I have is the sense that I must be the only one to pack the car boot. If anyone else tries, I genuinely fear I might hurt them.

“I can’t believe what an idiot I was. I used to not worry if I started putting soft bits in first.”

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “It’s definitely something supernatural and definitely not someone who has been demoted to third most important person in his family, desperately clinging onto authority over something, anything.”