ONLY the most annoying people you know are in the position to buy a second home abroad, it has been confirmed.
Insufferable couples who have either inherited large amounts from dead parents or fiddled their taxes are able to live a dream that will forever be denied to ordinary plebs.
Second home owner Francesca Johnson said: “It’s hard for people like us, because how do you find ways to show off when you already have a house in the home counties, an SUV for the school run and a pizza oven in the garden?
“We decided the best course of action was to spend an astonishing amount of money on a spare house that we can’t occupy because we’re not there, but which will price local people out of the market.
“It’s great fun viewing properties and sniffing at traditional Calabrian farmhouses that are too dark or Portuguese villas which are quite nice but the terrace is too small at only 90 square feet.
“There are downsides, of course, for example Ocado won’t deliver and the kids next door key the car on a regular basis the two weeks of the year we are there.
“But overall it’s a small price to pay for the lifestyle, by which I mean an intense feeling of superiority.”