Tuesday, 7th July 2020

Only freaks put mugs upside down in cupboard

THE only people who store mugs in cupboards top-down are total freaks, it has been confirmed. 

Researchers studied more than 5,000 tea and coffee drinkers over seven years and showed that only warped, sick minds would opt to put the bit of the mug that your lips touch on the dirty shelf.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “They are freaks, weirdos, outcasts and mutants of the soul.

“We examined the phenomenon exhaustively to try and find a possible benefit to stacking mugs this way, and there isn’t one. The only semi-persuasive argument was ensuring spiders couldn’t climb in, but how often does that happen?

“They don’t stack easier. It doesn’t keep them cleaner. The only reason to do it is because you are a deviant who should be thrown out of society.”

Brubaker confirmed that he and his team would now be researching whether people who leave a half centimetre of milk left in the bottle are sociopaths.