A WOMAN who has been calling her upcoming maternity leave a ‘year off’ will soon be forced to face reality, friends have confirmed.
Hannah Tomlinson has made a list of everything she will do with all the free time she has once her baby is born, including retiling the bathroom, learning French and writing a novel.
Tomlinson said: “People make such a fuss about how hard it is but it’s all about attitude. Babies are tiny and sleep a lot so how much trouble can they be?
“I’ll pop it in a freshly laundered sling and spend my days going to art galleries and sitting in cute cafes writing insightful prose poems about the delights of motherhood.
“Maybe I’ll even hire a camper van and travel around Europe solo. I certainly won’t spend it watching back-to-back seasons of Friends whilst frantically googling ‘cracked nipples’. What a waste of time.”
Friend Sophie Rodriguez said: “We’ve started a sweepstake on how soon we visit Hannah to find her weeping, surrounded by filth and too knackered to even hold a pen.
“I’m giving it three days.”