Tuesday, 26th January 2021

Retired parents exhausted after day of completely unnecessary tasks

A MAN’S retired parents are looking forward to a rest after a punishing day of finding things to do that did not need doing.

While visiting, Tom Logan was puzzled to find his mum and dad furiously rearranging kitchen cupboards, cleaning already-clean items and ‘checking’ the garden hose.

Logan said: “They made out they had a mountain of important chores to do, but it was just things like Dad oiling some garden shears he hasn’t used in 15 years.

“Meanwhile Mum was taking all their clothes out of wardrobes to ‘check for moths’. There were no moths. There have never been any moths in 40 years of them living here. The moths are a lie. 

“They’ve bled a radiator which was working fine, soaked a load of brand new mugs in bleach and done a detailed inspection of all the bath towels. Then they put them all back again.

“I hope my retirement doesn’t consist of inventing chores just to have something to do. I wouldn’t mind but the daft b*stards have worn themselves out and want me to go to the shops for them.”

Logan’s father Derek said: “It was absolutely necessary to remove and check all the light bulbs. There’s nothing more dangerous than a loose light bulb.”