LOVE saving money to the extent that you’ll forego being able to enjoy the thing you’ve bought? Try these purchases:
If you hate your anus, why not purchase some supermarket-branded toilet paper? Boasting all of the delicate comfort of 50 grit sandpaper, while also being prone to disintegrating during use, you’ll soon wish you were less tightfisted and had splashed out for quilted.
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live as livestock? Then chow down on a bowl of supermarket granola. This tasteless mulch will make you feel like you’re being force-fed some particularly low-quality animal feed specifically designed to fatten you up as quickly as possible.
Own-brand bread is somehow overly salty, overly sweet and yet completely tasteless. The only use it could have is if you are starting up an independent business and are having trouble sourcing styrofoam to pack your goods in for shipping. Slices of this stuff would be a fine stand in.
Nothing says ‘I think we’re ready to try for a baby’ quite like coming back from Londis with a box of own-brand condoms nestled among your tins. The few quid you think you’ll save on not going down the branded route will end up costing you thousands in childcare down the line.
Ever wondered what pubs do with all of those unfinished pints at the end of a night? Well if the taste of supermarket beer is anything to go by, it seems all that stale lager and backwash is put into a big vat, given a mix and placed back into cans for sale.
Tired after a long day’s work and desperate to sit down with a relaxing cuppa? Then why not completely ruin the experience by brewing yourself a mug of rancid ditch water? If the ingredients on the side of own-brand tea bags were honest, they would list floor sweepings, mouse droppings and fag ash.