A LONDONER has explained to friends that it would be easier to attend a party in South America than theirs on the other side of London.
Ellie Shaw, who lives in Caterham, was invited to a friend’s Christmas get-together in Winchmore Hill even though reaching it would basically take a week.
She said: “Uruguay? Train to Heathrow, flight to Madrid, flight to Montevideo. I could be there in 18 hours.
“From where I live to where Jayne lives? Waiting 40 minutes for Ubers that keep cancelling when they’re within five minutes of me, a dash to the train station interrupted by police cars stopping a madman, then my Oyster card says ‘94 SEEK ASSISTANCE’.
“Then a four-change train journey, ending with an unsettling overground train with oddly patterned seat covers, then I stride out of the station in the wrong direction but I can’t do a U-turn without looking like a tourist.
“After that there’s only a walk down a long and unfamiliar street, lit only by Google Maps on a dying phone, then I’m there, there’s no-one I fancy and I have to do the whole thing again in reverse.
“I’ve told Jayne if she really wants me at her party, I’ll Facetime in.”