Saturday, 4th July 2020

Visit to independent record shop instantly regretted

A MAN’S attempt to use a proudly independent record shop and cafe near his home was regretted within moments, he has confirmed. 

Nathan Muir of Bournemouth thought he was popping into Kill Yr Vinyl for a casual browse, but left after 40 minutes of relentless conversation clutching an unwanted Chemical Brothers 12-inch.

He said: “The guy was on me the second I was in, asking me if I wanted a coffee or was there to dig the crates. There was nobody else there. I had no option but to engage.

“Within minutes I’m balls-deep in a discussion about Steve Albini, the DIY cassette scene, and something called the Penguin Cafe Orchestra he may have just thrown in to trip me up. If so it worked.

“By now I felt as if I was paying to be his friend, and a chance mention of a Chemical Brothers EP I’d once heard had him going through the racks like I’d charged him with a sacred quest.

“He held it up triumphantly, rhapsodised about how you wouldn’t get this service from a chain and how much he’d sacrificed to provide this to the people, then took it to the till and charged me £12 for it.

“Go in again? I’m not even going down that f*cking street again.”