A WOMAN is convinced she can be ready to leave the house in 15 minutes despite never once doing so in her entire adult life.
Emma Bradford has been late for every occasion in her 39 years of life due to her steadfast belief that showering, choosing an outfit, getting dressed, putting on make-up and finding her bag takes 15 minutes all in.
Partner Steve Malley said: “Emma is otherwise a highly intelligent person, but she’s got this blind spot. She believes time bends around her when she’s getting ready to go out, and that an hour and 45 minutes is 15 minutes max.
“And this is despite being alive for almost four decades and having to get herself ready for the vast majority of that time. She can honestly spend a full quarter-hour sitting on the bed in a towel, staring blankly at the wall.
“Presumably she was on time for stuff when she was a kid because her parents shoved her in a babygro and carried her to the car. Maybe I should do that.”
Bradford said: “To be honest, getting ready is the best part of a night out with Steve. Because Steve isn’t there.”