Tuesday, 4th August 2020

Woman not sure whether she's wet herself or just really sweaty

A WOMAN driving in the heatwave is so sweaty she is wondering whether it is possible she might have actually p*ssed herself. 

Donna Sheridan has been stuck in traffic in her car for the past hour with no air conditioning, causing her to be soaked through with liquid which hopefully does not include her own urine.

Marketing manager Sheridan said: “Is it possible to wet yourself without realising it? I’ve never done it before, except at that wedding reception, but maybe you just go incontinent after the age of 40?

“I am completely drenched. I’m not an excessively sweaty person so I’m getting seriously paranoid that I’ve had a ‘little accident’. It happened once before but it turned out to be a false alarm and I’d just been sitting on a baby wipe.  

“I’ve considered going through the car wash with all the windows open or driving into a cold lake but I couldn’t find either on the motorway.

“I have to go to a meeting but I can’t get out of the car like this. I’ll just have to stay in my car until summer is over.”