Woman on maternity leave has insane business idea

A WOMAN desperate not to go back to work after maternity leave has come up with an utterly insane business idea and actually wants to do it.

Eleanor Shaw’s husband Joe said: “Apparently she really does want to give up the financial security of her job in IT in order to sell cupcakes on the internet.

“All I did was point out the icing would get squashed in the post, and suggest that choosing ribbon for the boxes was not the same as doing a full business viability assessment, but she started to cry and said I was trying to ‘crush her dream’.

“I pointed out that it would mean even more time away from the baby, building her brand and doing tedious, exhausting social media bullsh*t, but she cried again.

“I know she was stressed and grumpy before, but at least she earned a grand a week.”

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Bercow 'partisan', claim people who class Goering as a leftie

RABID right-wingers for whom Goering was the bleeding-heart weak link in the Nazi party have claimed John Bercow is politically biased. 

MPs and media alike have condemned the retiring Speaker as partisan and hypocritical while adding that if Reichsmarshall Goering had shown more steel Britain could have been part of a united Europe decades ago.

Denys Finch Hatton, MP for Gloucester, said: “Bercow used to be a Tory. But it’s not us that’s moved far, far right to the point of considering Vlad the Impaler too soft on people.

“It’s him who’s gone left, backing radical communist ideas like parliament getting a say and governments not being allowed to sneak major legislation through loopholes.

“It’s not right-wing to say he should be shot like Che Guevara. That should be what they’re saying on BBC Breakfast.”

Daily Telegraph columnist Helen Archer said: “I support the will of the people, which is politically neutral, so I can say without fear of contradiction that Bercow will replace Guy Fawkes on bonfires for the next 500 years.

“Also Goering was fat, weak and wore fancy uniforms. If the Fuhrer had a cabinet who were all like Goebbels, we never would have lost to the Allies.”