Saturday, 4th April 2020

Woman who 'journals' daily still full of self-indulgent shit

A WOMAN who spends 30 minutes a day writing her thoughts into a journal is still full of self-indulgent crap for all the remaining hours. 

Donna Sheridan’s journaling involves writing a daily stream of consciousness of whatever words pop into her head, although 80 per cent of them tend to be ‘me’, ‘I’ and ‘my’.

Sheridan said: “I find my journaling so spiritually cleansing. After I’ve unclogged my own thoughts I’m free to give generously to other people, mainly by telling them about my journaling.

“What I write in my journal is private, but I’ll tell you every detail if you express even the vaguest interest. Which you probably will after I repeatedly mention the word ‘journal’, like it’s a person I fancy and am being a bit weird about.”

Sheridan’s partner Tom Logan is currently considering taking up journaling, so he can have 30 minutes respite from listening to her drone on about it.

Logan said: “Instead of actually journaling, I’ll use the half an hour to do something more useful, like watch half an episode of Takeshi’s Castle, have a very luxurious poo, or two wanks.”