Thursday, 15th April 2021

Woman who's never up before 9am calls herself 'a morning person'

A WOMAN who is never conscious before 9am counts herself as a morning person, she has revealed.

Freelance marketing consultant Lauren Hewitt claims to love that early morning feel of being up and ready and watching Lorraine while the rest of the world still slumbers.

She said: “It disgusts me when people waste the best part of the day slugging about in bed. I’m so much more productive in the AM.

“I get up, have a shower, do a little yoga, stroll down to the local bakery and grab a croissant and a cappuccino – they open, like, way early – and by 11am I’m already sending emails. Efficiency.

“And the great thing about starting so early is you don’t feel guilty about clocking off at 3pm. Whereas lazy people are chained to their laptops until early evening, I have a little power nap and I’m raring to go.

“Maintain that strict routine and you’ll find yourself accomplishing so much more. It’s all above embracing the morning person within yourself.”

When informed that some people raise at 5am, she said: “You what? Are they f**king mental?”