Woman with 37 tops packed for overnight trip adds a 38th

A WOMAN who has packed 37 different choices of top for an overnight stay in a hotel has added one more, just in case. 

Nikki Hollis of Coventry is spending the night in London with her boyfriend but has packed as if concerned her train will wind up on an uninhabited island, leaving her stranded with only a fresh yet impractical wardrobe.

She said: “Well I don’t know what we’re going to be doing – out, out for a meal, out somewhere fancy, out somewhere cool – so I’ve had to pack accordingly.

“What would I do if I didn’t have the right top? Just buy one, I suppose, from one of the hundreds of shops down there? Yeah I’ve not ruled that out.

“When I’m at home I average one top every two days, but many are the dangers facing the unwary traveller. Mostly top-based, I’d imagine.”

Hollis will end up spending the whole evening in the bar of her hotel because she has only brought one pair of shoes and cannot walk in them.

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

Is your body a temple or a dodgy kebab shop?

DO you treat your body like a beautiful temple or stuff it full of questionable meat and grease? See where you fall on the scale.

Your body is a whole food health shop if…

You have removed all the fun from eating and drinking by insisting it is sugar-free, additive-free and joy-free. You feel good but haven’t got any friends because you tend to drone on about things like miso soup.

Your body is a Waitrose if…

You smugly fill it with butternut squash, hummus and macadamia nuts. Unless no one is looking, in which case you shovel down a tub of ice cream. You are a bit confused, and think that anything ‘artisanal’ is good for you.

Your body is a Pizza Express if…

You convince yourself that you’re healthy because you eat a cursory amount of salad, but are ultimately just here to eat melted cheese and dip balls of nutrition-free dough in a big bowl of butter.

Your body is a Wetherspoons if…

You don’t mind abusing it with endless pints of cheap lager and favour a diet based on things like cheap burgers, fried eggs and curly fries. You may well have high blood pressure, just like many of the regulars at ‘Spoons.

Your body is a KFC if…

You’ve given up any pretence of eating healthily and just want to immerse yourself in a huge bucket of chicken and BBQ sauce until you suffocate.