Woman with shit together even has phone charger for car

A WOMAN who has got her shit together even has a dedicated phone charger in her car.

Joanna Kramer has a successful career in marketing, a husband she is not ashamed of at parties, a toddler who sleeps through the night, and the ability to plan for every phone battery eventuality.

She said: “I’ve always had a vision for how my life should be, and I don’t give up until I’ve made it a reality, no matter how many Amazon orders it takes.

“However busy I am, knowing my phone will be okay is something I’ve always considered important. Some women don’t prioritise it, which I think is a shame, and probably a lot to do with self-esteem or gluten intolerance.

“But even I have days when the balancing act of work, family and posting about work and family on social media is too much. Then I remember I have back-up lip balm in my glovebox and emergency anti-bacterial hand gel in my gym bag. I’ve got this.”

Kramer added: “It brings me a lot of peace to know I am prepared for anything, and if my husband takes that USB cable out of the car I will poison him”.

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Nan afraid that news of Royal baby will get lost in all this Brexit nonsense

A GRANDMOTHER is concerned that all the Brexit nonsense constantly on the news might overshadow the birth of a new Royal baby. 

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s first child is due next month and Margaret Gerving of Guildford cannot believe how selfish politicians are being by having their Brexit at the same time.

She said: “They should have asked the EU for this extension to last until the baby’s born. Then whatever happens we’d leave happy.

“I’m sure they think what they’re doing is important, but we really should be getting live updates on the people waiting outside the hospital by now and the news is still full of this shilly-shallying.

“Labour I could understand, but the Tories should know their priorities. Thatcher got the Falklands out of the way with a good week to spare before little William came along.

“Let’s get this Brexit, whatever it’s about, done and dusted then we can have a proper rejoice and a street party. That’s what everyone needs.”

Gerving added: “I voted for the Brexit of course. Well I thought we all were.”