Friday, 14th May 2021

Yes, that's exactly the point, confirms childless woman accused of being selfish

A WOMAN who has been called selfish for choosing not to have children has happily confirmed that that was the whole point of her decision.

Helen Archer, 32, has been told that not bringing a resource-guzzling human that she does not actually want into an already crowded world means she is incredibly self-centred.

Archer said: “I bumped into a friend who was strapping her four kids into a giant SUV so she could drive half a mile to Tesco to spend 100 quid on crappy plastic toys and Fruit Shoots.

“As usual she asked me when I was going to have kids. When I said ‘never’ she tutted and said I was selfish and unfulfilled, whilst her kids whined annoyingly in the background.

“Then she said that after lockdown they were hoping to squeeze a week in a Cornish cottage into the school holidays, which will probably be shortened now because of Covid.

“I told her I was going to use all the money I’d saved during lockdown to travel the world for a year sleeping with hot strangers.

“I’m very happy with my choices.”