Lifestyle

A YOUNG man is wondering why his jogging bottoms keep slipping down after he puts a can of beer in each pocket.

A GROUP of freshers are listening to advice from their 22-year-old resident adviser as though it were the wisdom of ages past.

A WOMAN living in London is having to put up with all her friends and family using her spare room as their own apartment whenever they visit the city.

A POSH university fresher has been left baffled by kitchenware that is not the extortionately-priced French brand Le Creuset.

A FASHIONABLE hairdo is essential when looking for love. But be careful you’re keeping up with the times, as these outmoded styles will only lead to wanking alone now.

AN odious terror of a toddler is allowed to scream and thrash about in museum cafes because he looks darling in his Boden dungarees, his parents have explained.

A 49-YEAR-OLD man closes his eyes and imagines he is in an endless B&Q whenever he is stressed.

WHILE idling in traffic, do you wish you were that twat who always manages to be slightly in front of you? Here’s how to win this tiny victory.

FOR young people, the idea of hitting 30 means everything is over. If you’re older than that, have a good cry, because these experiences can never happen in your remaining 50 years.

A WOMAN is wondering whether she should brave a vacant public toilet cubicle where the lid is sinisterly shut.