SOMEONE is writing a Guardian article about how leaving London to live in Bristol is like fleeing Syria, it has been confirmed.
Freelance journalist Tom Booker is writing a 1,500 word piece titled Migrant from the Metropolis, about a media professional forced by economic inequality to flee the capital for a three-bed semi in the South West.
Booker said: “I know Guardian readers are interested in migration and events in the Middle East, but they also love reading about people leaving London, especially if the ex-Londoner is a bit sad about it.
“They snapped up my pitch, now all I’ve got to do is wank it out. I’ve bought some biscuits, should be done by lunchtime.”
Booker’s article opens with his family arriving bleary-eyed at Bristol train station after an exhausting two-hour journey with a change at Swindon.
He writes: “Although there weren’t literal bombs going off around us like in Syria, there were bombs going off in my mind.
“Would there be any good non-corporate bookshops selling quality coffee? Or a cinema showing anything other than multiplex superhero fodder?
“Will our children master the local dialect? I suppose they will grow up with Bristolian accents.
“We’ll probably never see our London friends and family again, and if we do they will look down on us as something ’other’.”