Friday, 22nd January 2021

How to convince yourself social media is more trustworthy than real news

DO you find that things you read in the ‘mainstream media’ don’t fit with your insane beliefs? Here’s how to convince yourself social media is more credible.

Everyone agrees with me

In the echo chamber of political ranters, racists and conspiracy theorists on social media everyone probably does agree with you. Sadly, this is not due to your amazing insights, it’s because they don’t have any friends.

The mainstream media is full of bias and lies

All news outlets have their own biases, which most people over the age of 12 realise. What it doesn’t mean is that you have to believe a random bloke called Alan in an online forum who thinks the EU is trying to turn Europe Islamic.

It’s way easier to read

Can’t disagree here. Newspaper articles require you to digest information for minutes or more, whereas tweets only take seconds. YouTube videos by strange men in dark bedrooms are best because you don’t even have to move your eyeballs to absorb bullshit. Sorry, ‘facts’.

Everyone in the MSM is corrupt 

The only reason newspapers publish positive stories about the Covid vaccine is because every single journalist is in the pay of dark forces. Even your local paper The Plymouth Advertiser.

Donald Trump said so

If you believe Donald Trump over the MSM because he’s a man of the people and they’re part of the liberal metropolitan elite, you’re so far down a demented right-wing rabbit hole you probably think Bill Gates is implanting everyone with communist microchips.

Social media tells the truth

About paedophiles and liberals controlling the mainstream media. And the lizard people, obviously.