THE world has thanked the media for keeping them fully up to date with an unpleasant and exploitative countdown.
The countdown is being repeated so frequently you could name the correct number without checking, while you are kept aware of a possible tragedy you are powerless to stop.
Martin Bishop of Leeds said: “Even the BBC keeps reminding me it’s a ‘race against time’. Thanks for that, lads. Sure there’s nothing else you could be doing?
“Why don’t you all put it as a little two-digit real-time block in the corner of your screens? Ah, I see you’re way ahead of me. Wouldn’t want to lose track after all.
“Nothing like subliminal reminders of impending horror as you go about your day, is there? Nothing ghoulish about that, it’s the news, it’s fine. As you keep saying, you’re hoping for the best!
“Oh look at that, it’s clicked over.”
