DO we really need a lengthy round-up of the TV shows a bunch of broadsheet journalists enjoyed? Apparently so. And it should be in the form of a list. Let’s count down the rest.
The best TV shows of 2022
If your TV highlight of 2022 was the cast of Married at First Sight flouncing around in horrible clothes calling each other f**ktards, then be proud of your base but genuine tastes. It won’t appear on the Guardian’s list but that’s because they’re just proving how TV-literate they are and pretending Succession is for intellectuals, the pompous twats.
The best festive gift ideas of 2022
Men: whisky, gadgets, aftershave. Women: gin, slippers, perfume. Neither sex has any hobbies and interests other than these, if the Christmas gift idea lists are to be believed. Although they’ve been bullshit since they started sometime in the 1980s. Before that you could just give everyone a packet of fags and they’d be grateful. Even the kids.
The best jazz albums of 2022
This chin-stroking, pretentious list tends to appear in the Observer, to make people who think listening to jazz makes them interesting feel it was worth abusing their ears all year. For people who don’t listen to jazz, the only interest it will hold is briefly marvelling that enough jazz albums are still released each year to warrant a whole list.
The most popular songs of 2022
A great list in the olden days, now sadly scuppered by the fact it’s based on streaming which means popular shite from a couple of years back is still hanging around. You hated Adele’s mope-a-thon Easy On Me when it came out last year and you aren’t going to change your mind just because some tasteless wankers have had it on repeat ever since.
The worst political moments of 2022
Not just depressing because of the current state of the UK, but also because it should be about 40 pages long, given the f**k-ups that have happened this year. And a good third of it would be taken up by twats like Liz Truss and Kwasi Kwarteng, and no one’s feeling nostalgic about them.