THE BBC is to intensify its war on Scotland by giving Europe’s unhealthiest population more television to watch.
As the corporation unveiled plans for a dedicated BBC Scotland channel, exhausted Scottish GPs said that if the county becomes any more sedentary they will all close their surgeries and move to New Zealand.
A spokesman for the BMA in Scotland said: “We’ve been begging the government to shut down all the TV transmitters and replace the satellite dishes with basketball hoops.
“Could we not use the money to buy everybody one of those big exercise balls? After a year of gentle, ball-based movement they could then try walking at a brisk pace for 20 minutes.”
Meanwhile, the BBC stressed that, as well as distracting Scotland from physical health, the channel could give licence payers in the rest of the UK an insight into everyday Scottish life.
A spokesman said: “You might really enjoy it, especially if you’re a fan of The Exorcist.”