Sunday, 26th January 2020

2000 AD reader ruins date by saying woman looks 'zarjaz'

A MAN has ruined his chance to form a romantic relationship by using an invented slang word to describe his date.

Avid 2000 AD reader and self-described ‘Earthlet’ Tom Booker made the faux pas when he greeted hapless Bumble match Donna Sheridan for their date at Pizza Express in Barnstaple.

Booker said: “Everything was going well until about five seconds in when I said that she was looking zarjaz. Apparently the lexicon of 2000 AD editor Tharg the Mighty isn’t as well known in Brit-Cit as it used to be.”

Adjusting his Halo Jones T-shirt, Booker added: “I tried to explain to her that it’s the highest form of praise. If she picked up a prog of the Galaxy’s Greatest Comic once in a while she’d know that.”

Sheridan said: “Call me old fashioned but I like a date to start with a kiss on the cheek or a bouquet of flowers, not gibberish spouted by some editor from the planet Quaxxann. Also I prefer to read Toxic!, the short-lived rival to 2000 AD that ran for 31 issues between March 28 and October 24, 1991.”

Booker added: “I call my penis the Lawgiver.”