HOT for someone you’ve got no chance with? Follow our simple guide to pining for that perfect ten:
Admit it won’t happen
Before you go any further, face up to the fact that the breathtakingly stunning object of your desire is more likely to be struck by lightning, then struck by lightning again, than ever wanting to be with you. Getting this out of the way makes everything that follows less awkward.
Don’t try and improve yourself
If it was as simple as wearing more deodorant or taking a weekly spin-class, gorgeous people would be dating ordinary folk all the time. Even a lottery win, plastic surgery and a personality transplant won’t meet their wildly high expectations. Wallow in what you have.
Suggest you’ve dated attractive people before
Brilliant and beautiful people never take a chance on a normal unless they have impeccable references. Alluding to your ex-partners Bella Hadid, Jeff Bezos or Marcus Rashford will subconsciously raise you in your crush’s estimation.
Mention famous couples where one’s obviously punching above
There are plenty of off-putting male celebrities with ravishing partners — Jay-Z and Beyoncé, Jennifer Lawrence and some bloke who runs an art gallery, Leonardo DiCaprio and a yacht full of models under 25. Bring them up in conversation to subtly suggest that your relationship is similar.
Settle for their less attractive friend
If all else fails, find comfort in a slightly worse version of the same. Imagine you’re buying a supermarket own-brand version of a product you enjoy because you can’t afford the proper kind. That should make you feel better.
