ONE of the great joys of sharing your life with another is sharing their friendships, but when their friend is smokin’ hot it can cause difficulties. Follow these rules:
Keep your distance
Be cordial and polite to the hot friend, but try not to make eye contact because if you do you may never break it. Avoid discussing their personal life because your heart will melt and you’ll gather them into your arms when you hear of any hardship they’ve suffered, like that one time they were overdrawn.
Focus on their faults
What annoying habits do they have? Picking their nose? Mispronouncing ‘touché’? Having no understanding of anyone’s problems because everything in their life comes easily to them because they’re so beautiful? Any of these can kill a crush on the spot.
Assume they know
Imagining your massive crush is a secret is a mistake, because when the hot one casually mentions they know you find them attractive you’ll blush and jump to the conclusion they’ve noticed because they feel the same way about you. They don’t. They just expect everyone to find them attractive.
Your partner also knows
Your partner is perfectly aware their friend is drop-dead gorgeous. Or course they do. They’ve probably humiliated themselves attempting to get it on with them at least once. Don’t think your heart-eye-emoji face is going unnoticed.
Don’t joke about threesomes and/or polyamory
At least not after you’ve tested the ground once.
Sleep with them
If none of the above works, simply have sex with the hot friend. Their total disinterest in you afterwards as they talk vacuously about their career will turn your lust to hate.