Are you punching above your weight in your relationship?

ARE you the hot one in your relationship, or are you punching well above your weight? Take our quiz:

What do friends say when they first see your partner?

A) They smile warmly and say ‘I’m sure they’re beautiful on the inside’.

B) They just stand there, stunned, with their jaws on the floor. After a few minutes they come to and ask if this is some kind of sick joke.

How do people describe your partner?

A) They tend to focus on their personality, which they say is amazing, and don’t mention physical features.

B) Usually through clenched teeth, when they literally tell you to your face that you’re punching above your weight.

Do people flirt with your partner?

A) Occasionally, which you can’t get mad about as it’s great for their self-esteem.

B) All the time, even though you’re right there holding your partner’s hand very tightly.

What would you do if your partner left you?

A) Feel sad for a little while before remembering there are plenty more fish in the sea.

B) Resign yourself to a life of misery. They were the peak of your existence and it’s all downhill from here.

Are you a man?

A) No
B) Yes


Mostly As: You are the more attractive person in your relationship, but only in physical terms. Looks fade but charisma doesn’t, so you’d better try your best to keep hold of them as you get progressively uglier.

Mostly Bs: Congratulations, you are going out with someone who’s well out of your league both in terms of appearance and personality. Don’t screw things up, because miracles like this don’t happen to the same person twice.

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Speed of local takeaway's turnaround time genuinely concerning

A MAN is concerned that a takeaway can cook and deliver his order in the same amount of time it would take him to make a piece of toast.

Martin Bishop ordered enough food to feed his family of six from his local Chinese restaurant and was horrified when it arrived within eleven minutes.

Bishop said: “Surely it isn’t possible to cook two portions of chilli beef, one sweet and sour chicken, three rice and 20 spring rolls in five minutes? Surely?

“With that kind of speed, you might expect that corners have been cut and the food has been sitting in Tupperware all day before being zapped to boiling point in a microwave and put on the back of a moped.

“But their website states that all food is made using traditional family recipes and freshly cooked to order. There’s even a picture of the proprietor John on it. He’s a white guy from Gloucester.”

John Logan, owner of the takeaway, said: “We pride ourselves on the quality of our food. Especially the slow-cooked beef with black pepper sauce, which takes eight entire minutes.”