A MAN has described the recent incredible success of his closest friend as ‘sickening’ and ‘completely selfish’.
Joe Turner was left in a state of distress when he heard his best friend Stephen Malley had secured the job of his dreams complete with a six-figure salary, just months after marrying a wonderful woman and starting a family.
Mr Turner said: “It’s not that I want to see Stephen fail or suffer. It’s just that when he does really well it makes me hate him a bit. Well, a lot.
“It’s great that things are going so well and, in a way, I’m really pleased for him. But I do wonder if he even considered how much pain his actions would cause me.
“I’m not a jealous man. But it’s just good manners to check and see how my life is going before making these sorts of decisions.
“It’s a shame, but I’m going to have to look for an uglier, less ambitious friend to protect myself from this sort of turmoil in the future. Sorry, Stephen.”
Stephen Malley said: “I’m gutted to lose Joe, but only because his utter failure at life made me look amazing.”