A COUPLE who purchased some edible knickers have discovered that it is best to leave the back part of it uneaten.
Following an attempt to liven up their ailing sex life, Martin and Helen Bishop found out that a candy g-string is a unique way to give your partner gastroenteritis rather than a fun sexual experience.
Martin Bishop said: “The front section was quite fun for me. I’m not sure Helen enjoyed being given cunnilingus through a mouthful of crushed sugar shards but she gamely allowed me to plough on.
“I’ll admit that I did start feeling quite sick even before I got to the bit which had been stuck up her bum crack for the best part of an hour but it seemed a bit rude to refuse to eat it, as if I was suggesting she didn’t wipe her arse properly.
“Anyway, long story short, it turns out she doesn’t wipe her arse properly and I spent the next day yacking up partly digested sweets while we shamefully invented a story for the doctor about how I got ill.
“Will we be trying anything like that again? No. But luckily our sex life has now been killed stone dead forever so we won’t need to anyway.”