A MAN whose wife recently gave birth to their first baby has decided this is the moment to take up a new and time-consuming hobby.
Martin Bishop, aged 32, claims he always wanted to do more sport but never had a real incentive to get off his arse until there was a screaming baby in the house that needed its nappy changing twice an hour.
Bishop said: “I always fancied canoeing but was never able to make myself spend weekends on a freezing lake. However, being up to my elbows in shit for the last month made the activity seem really appealing.
“And I’ve really lucked out in terms of my choice, as getting the boat in and out of the water takes ages, as does getting it on and off the car. Plus I have to drive nearly a hundred miles away from home to reach an open body of water.
“I’ve told my partner I’m preparing for when the baby is old enough to join me in a healthy, outdoors pastime, but that won’t be for at least eight years, thank f**k.”
Bishop’s wife Lucy said: “Two can play at this game. I haven’t broken it to him yet, but I’m joining the local am-dram group. He’s going to cry like a newborn when he sees my rehearsal schedule.”